This entry will be a short one (gotta go to work!), but I just wanted to give you all a little update on where we are!
Mike and I were doing some math this weekend (Well, let's just be real about who was actually doing the math, most of you already know who was counting and adding. It wasn't me...I am more like a cheerleader on the sidelines as he does math. "Add 'em, count 'em, go, go, go!")
Anyway, we are about $1300 away from our first quarter amount. WHAT??? You guys, that is beyond amazing. In about 3 weeks we went from needing over $4000, to where we are now. It is not possible for me to fully fathom that because it's so incredible. We are SO thankful, and humbled, and realize how blessed we are. Thank you, thank you, thank you...
I read a pin (Pinterest) about adoption last week that said "Everyone says that she is so lucky to have us as parents, but the truth is: we are the lucky ones." It's been running around my head and in my heart since I read it...we are already SO lucky to be the parents to our baby...and we are also lucky to have you as our family. Actually, lucky isn't the right word...we are blessed. And having you walk along this journey with us, reminding us that we aren't alone, reminding us that God is good, praying for us, giving, helping, donating, asking about how we're doing, is amazing. Thank you, for walking with us.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
A post for a Wednesday afternoon...
This post is a melting pot of a lot of thoughts, and they do not directly relate to our adoption process, but these thoughts are what the Lord is teaching me and how He is showing me Him. So, I guess in a way it is about our adoption because it's where I am.
I'm going do to my best to make it all make sense, but if you can't quite follow along, I totally understand and offer my sincerest apologies. (Mind you, I don't apologize enough to not post though, haha). Okay, here we go...
The year 2009 (especially the fall season) was, by far, the worst year (season) of my life. I remember crying when the ball dropped, welcoming in 2010, because I was SO glad that the previous year was over. My oldest cousin, Charity, had been diagnosed with metastatic melanoma two years before, and the Lord chose to bring her Home in August. Then, 5 weeks later, our Granpa also went Home. Mike and I were really struggling, trying to figure out where the Lord was calling us and why things seemed so scary and unknown. We were in the desert, for sure - clinging on (with only our fingertips sometimes) to the hope that He would show us where He wanted us to be. It was a very, very lonely year for me.
On Sunday, our pastor talked about healing. Part of the way through the service, I felt the Lord telling me to listen to Him. He reminded me of a story that my aunt (Charity's mom) shared at Charity's memorial service. She had found Charity crying in the shower one day. Concerned that she was hurting, she asked if everything was alright. Charity's answer was this: I'm afraid the Lord won't be able to use me. While fighting against with this heartless disease, her desire was to be used by Him...that her life would show His glory, no matter what happened. And my Granpa was the first to tell anyone that any good that people saw him wasn't him, it the Lord. Two beautiful lives that changed mine.
(Okay, this is where it might get messy...I'm trying to formulate words and thoughts and still process everything). What the Lord has been speaking to me this week, it is that it's not about me. (ugh, my pride is aching as I look back and read that on the screen and know that I will publish this). It is extremely easy for me to think that life is about me. That this adoption is about our family. I feel like I should not have struggles because doesn't God see that I'm busy trying to do what He asked me to do, and why can't things go faster like I think they should? However, as He so gently reminded me...it's not about me. And as I think about how it's not about me, I realize that I am SO blessed to be on this exact journey. To see how the Lord changed my heart, to experience His provision. (And speaking of His provision: our "cousin in law" Cheryl is hosting a Thirty One party at her house and online tomorrow and called me to tell me that she wants the proceeds to go to our adoption. He is so good and I am so thankful). I get to see how He is bringing Mike and I closer than we thought possible and how He is preparing us, and our marriage, to become parents to the sweetest little baby. I see how He led and how He was there, even when I wasn't sure.
I truly want Him to use my life for His glory. No matter what is going on, I want to point to Him. Whether it's easy, whether it's scary, whether I'm hurting, or rejoicing, or just being still - I want people to see Him. I want this whole adoption process to point people to Him. It's not only about becoming a family of three, it's about God's plan and what He wants to do, what He is doing, and what He has done.
This post has taken much longer to write than it probably should have and I'm not even sure it makes sense to any of you. Sometimes, I feel like these posts are all the same: I struggle and God is good. But, that's pretty much the way my life is...but truthfully, that's how I want it. More of Him, less of me.
I'm going do to my best to make it all make sense, but if you can't quite follow along, I totally understand and offer my sincerest apologies. (Mind you, I don't apologize enough to not post though, haha). Okay, here we go...
The year 2009 (especially the fall season) was, by far, the worst year (season) of my life. I remember crying when the ball dropped, welcoming in 2010, because I was SO glad that the previous year was over. My oldest cousin, Charity, had been diagnosed with metastatic melanoma two years before, and the Lord chose to bring her Home in August. Then, 5 weeks later, our Granpa also went Home. Mike and I were really struggling, trying to figure out where the Lord was calling us and why things seemed so scary and unknown. We were in the desert, for sure - clinging on (with only our fingertips sometimes) to the hope that He would show us where He wanted us to be. It was a very, very lonely year for me.
On Sunday, our pastor talked about healing. Part of the way through the service, I felt the Lord telling me to listen to Him. He reminded me of a story that my aunt (Charity's mom) shared at Charity's memorial service. She had found Charity crying in the shower one day. Concerned that she was hurting, she asked if everything was alright. Charity's answer was this: I'm afraid the Lord won't be able to use me. While fighting against with this heartless disease, her desire was to be used by Him...that her life would show His glory, no matter what happened. And my Granpa was the first to tell anyone that any good that people saw him wasn't him, it the Lord. Two beautiful lives that changed mine.
(Okay, this is where it might get messy...I'm trying to formulate words and thoughts and still process everything). What the Lord has been speaking to me this week, it is that it's not about me. (ugh, my pride is aching as I look back and read that on the screen and know that I will publish this). It is extremely easy for me to think that life is about me. That this adoption is about our family. I feel like I should not have struggles because doesn't God see that I'm busy trying to do what He asked me to do, and why can't things go faster like I think they should? However, as He so gently reminded me...it's not about me. And as I think about how it's not about me, I realize that I am SO blessed to be on this exact journey. To see how the Lord changed my heart, to experience His provision. (And speaking of His provision: our "cousin in law" Cheryl is hosting a Thirty One party at her house and online tomorrow and called me to tell me that she wants the proceeds to go to our adoption. He is so good and I am so thankful). I get to see how He is bringing Mike and I closer than we thought possible and how He is preparing us, and our marriage, to become parents to the sweetest little baby. I see how He led and how He was there, even when I wasn't sure.
I truly want Him to use my life for His glory. No matter what is going on, I want to point to Him. Whether it's easy, whether it's scary, whether I'm hurting, or rejoicing, or just being still - I want people to see Him. I want this whole adoption process to point people to Him. It's not only about becoming a family of three, it's about God's plan and what He wants to do, what He is doing, and what He has done.
This post has taken much longer to write than it probably should have and I'm not even sure it makes sense to any of you. Sometimes, I feel like these posts are all the same: I struggle and God is good. But, that's pretty much the way my life is...but truthfully, that's how I want it. More of Him, less of me.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
This is my story...
Lately, I have been thinking about the story plot of my life (haha, sounds real deep doesn't it? Like the first line of a Hallmark movie that is followed by some dramatic and emotional story that leaves the viewer in tears and looking for tissues, like most Hallmark movies seem to do). ANYWAY, Hallmark movies, as wonderful as they are (especially at Christmas!) is not my reason for this post...
I read this quote yesterday:
That quote puts what is in my heart, into words. Day by day, I am more and more aware of the story of my life. I wasn't born randomly to random people. I was created by the Lord, specifically to be a child to my parents, a grandchild to my grandparents, niece to my aunts and uncles, a cousin, and a sister, a wife. I wasn't by chance. Nothing has been by chance...from the schools I went to, the friends I made, the trips I went on, the classes I took, the people I met. Nothing has been insignificant and everything has been leading me this way. And as I look back on as much as I can remember, I see God. I see His mercy, His grace, LOTS of forgiveness, and His love.
As Mike and I walk this journey, I have to continue to think about this. That nothing is random, or late, or early, or not important. Everything is significant and I want all of it to point to His faithfulness and His sovereignty. Each conversation is important, every gift is amazing, the times I'm impatient, the moments of uncertainty, and the moments of joy...they all matter. All of these things are a part of the story of my life. And they are a part of the story of our baby's life too.
I cannot wait for the day when the story gets to the part of our baby in our arms. (If it were a Hallmark movie, I would for sure watch it over and over again, going through boxes and boxes of tissue). But, I don't want to try and fast forward through this part of the story. I want to see the little moments that seem "insignificant" and rest in the knowledge that He is always working. He is the best author and the story that He is writing with my life shows how Great He is. May He been seen throughout my whole story...
I read this quote yesterday:
Every
life tells a story...we tell our story and we let God's story be told
through our lives. We tell God's story as we live and discover our own.
We know that God is a storyteller...and I don't know if there's anything
better in the world than when we lay ourselves wide open and let His
story become our story, when we screw up our fists and our courage and
start to tell the truest, best stories we know, which are always God's
stories.
(Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines)
As Mike and I walk this journey, I have to continue to think about this. That nothing is random, or late, or early, or not important. Everything is significant and I want all of it to point to His faithfulness and His sovereignty. Each conversation is important, every gift is amazing, the times I'm impatient, the moments of uncertainty, and the moments of joy...they all matter. All of these things are a part of the story of my life. And they are a part of the story of our baby's life too.
I cannot wait for the day when the story gets to the part of our baby in our arms. (If it were a Hallmark movie, I would for sure watch it over and over again, going through boxes and boxes of tissue). But, I don't want to try and fast forward through this part of the story. I want to see the little moments that seem "insignificant" and rest in the knowledge that He is always working. He is the best author and the story that He is writing with my life shows how Great He is. May He been seen throughout my whole story...
Monday, September 9, 2013
Aftermath of an epic sale...
I've been sitting here for awhile, typing and then deleting...trying to come up with the best intro for this, and am having no luck. I don't even know where to start! This might be a long post...you might want to have a mug of tea with you before you start reading...
As you know, this past weekend was the garage sale. When we got to the church on Thursday night to help price and sort, Mike and I both stood in the doorway for a second, totally blown away at the amount of stuff that we saw. It was truly shocking, I kid you not. Items were everywhere...covering the main floor, up the stairs, on the landing, up more stairs, and on the second floor. This amount did not include the three drop off loads that were brought later on, nor the three truck and trailer loads that were still in our basement and in the house of the other couple who is adopting. Insane. I will be the first to tell you that it was a little (and at times, a lot) overwhelming at times. But, at the end of that night...I was reminded of the old hymn lyrics of "Count your blessings, name them one by one".
To be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect the first day of the sale. I kinda figured that we would pull everything out there, have moments of busyness and then those moments of no one, and that it would kinda go on in that pattern. However, that "on and off" crowd was not the case. The hours we had set for Friday was 9:30am-5:30pm, but as we pulled things out of church in the wee hours of the morning, people started to pull into the parking lot and look around. By 8:05am, we had made our first sale (a $2 item) and until the last item was put into the church that night at 6:10pm, we had no less that 5 people looking around. At one point, we had over 30 people looking around and a line of 5 people waiting to pay. I have NEVER seen a garage sale like this. It was crazy. But, we made over $2000 on Friday. Saturday was a little slower, but not much. We still saw a very steady crowd of people...our first item sold almost right away. We made almost $1800 that day. So total, we made almost $4000 in two days. Split between the two families that are adopting, we are each able to add almost $2000 to our adoption accounts.
People's love and support were breath-taking. My parents spent the whole weekend in Holland, selling things and running the cash box, helping to load and unload items. A friend from church made and sold egg rolls and fried rice during the lunch hours. A woman in our small group made and sold cupcakes and another woman from our small group made and sold headbands. Friends and family donated items and then stayed to help us price and organize them! Two other couples, also from our small group, gave three days of their time to organize, sort, move, and sell. People from church came to look around and buy items, then came back with more items to sell! Most of the customers who we didn't know were kind and supportive of the reason we were there. People gave and smiled. Every dollar was a blessing. It was a crazy, busy, very exhausting, and at points rainy, two days but it was nothing less that incredible.
The amount that is being added to our adoption account is amazing. Who makes almost $4000 from a garage sale?? The total amount that we now have in our account isn't enough for us to send it in with all the paper work, but we are now $2000 closer than we were Friday morning. We are $2000 closer to holding our baby in our arms and being able to kiss their precious cheeks...$2000 closer to being a family of three with our sweet baby at home. I can't wait for that day.
The Lord showed me what it means to be a cheerful giver this weekend. He showed me that people are all around us, loving and supporting. He showed me that He provides. He showed me that He is gracious, and patient, and 100% in control, even when I think I should be the one in charge. He taught me so much, and I am humbled and thankful for all of it. I am so thankful to everyone who prayed for us, donated items, gave of their time, supported, and blessed us. These typed words will never fully express that. Mike and I thank the Lord for each of you...this journey is hard and scary, but your love and support is amazing. Thank you for being a part of our family.
As you know, this past weekend was the garage sale. When we got to the church on Thursday night to help price and sort, Mike and I both stood in the doorway for a second, totally blown away at the amount of stuff that we saw. It was truly shocking, I kid you not. Items were everywhere...covering the main floor, up the stairs, on the landing, up more stairs, and on the second floor. This amount did not include the three drop off loads that were brought later on, nor the three truck and trailer loads that were still in our basement and in the house of the other couple who is adopting. Insane. I will be the first to tell you that it was a little (and at times, a lot) overwhelming at times. But, at the end of that night...I was reminded of the old hymn lyrics of "Count your blessings, name them one by one".
To be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect the first day of the sale. I kinda figured that we would pull everything out there, have moments of busyness and then those moments of no one, and that it would kinda go on in that pattern. However, that "on and off" crowd was not the case. The hours we had set for Friday was 9:30am-5:30pm, but as we pulled things out of church in the wee hours of the morning, people started to pull into the parking lot and look around. By 8:05am, we had made our first sale (a $2 item) and until the last item was put into the church that night at 6:10pm, we had no less that 5 people looking around. At one point, we had over 30 people looking around and a line of 5 people waiting to pay. I have NEVER seen a garage sale like this. It was crazy. But, we made over $2000 on Friday. Saturday was a little slower, but not much. We still saw a very steady crowd of people...our first item sold almost right away. We made almost $1800 that day. So total, we made almost $4000 in two days. Split between the two families that are adopting, we are each able to add almost $2000 to our adoption accounts.
People's love and support were breath-taking. My parents spent the whole weekend in Holland, selling things and running the cash box, helping to load and unload items. A friend from church made and sold egg rolls and fried rice during the lunch hours. A woman in our small group made and sold cupcakes and another woman from our small group made and sold headbands. Friends and family donated items and then stayed to help us price and organize them! Two other couples, also from our small group, gave three days of their time to organize, sort, move, and sell. People from church came to look around and buy items, then came back with more items to sell! Most of the customers who we didn't know were kind and supportive of the reason we were there. People gave and smiled. Every dollar was a blessing. It was a crazy, busy, very exhausting, and at points rainy, two days but it was nothing less that incredible.
The amount that is being added to our adoption account is amazing. Who makes almost $4000 from a garage sale?? The total amount that we now have in our account isn't enough for us to send it in with all the paper work, but we are now $2000 closer than we were Friday morning. We are $2000 closer to holding our baby in our arms and being able to kiss their precious cheeks...$2000 closer to being a family of three with our sweet baby at home. I can't wait for that day.
The Lord showed me what it means to be a cheerful giver this weekend. He showed me that people are all around us, loving and supporting. He showed me that He provides. He showed me that He is gracious, and patient, and 100% in control, even when I think I should be the one in charge. He taught me so much, and I am humbled and thankful for all of it. I am so thankful to everyone who prayed for us, donated items, gave of their time, supported, and blessed us. These typed words will never fully express that. Mike and I thank the Lord for each of you...this journey is hard and scary, but your love and support is amazing. Thank you for being a part of our family.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
step by step...
Step by step. Moment by moment.
This is the way God has been leading us on this journey of adoption. At times I am fine with it and times I want to see the whole map. I want to know how everything ends.
As we prepare for this garage sale, I want to know all of the next steps. I want to know everything that is going to happen. I want to know how much will be raised, I want to know if that amount will be enough to send in the formal application and home studies done. Yet, I don't know any of that, all I know is we are going to have the garage sale this weekend.
I reminded that I am not in control. Not at all. God called us on this journey and we are taking it step by step. God is the one in control, He knows every step, He has all of them planned out. Every single one. He hasn't missed a step. All Natalie and I have to do is to follow.
Step by step. Moment by moment.
This is the way God has been leading us on this journey of adoption. At times I am fine with it and times I want to see the whole map. I want to know how everything ends.
As we prepare for this garage sale, I want to know all of the next steps. I want to know everything that is going to happen. I want to know how much will be raised, I want to know if that amount will be enough to send in the formal application and home studies done. Yet, I don't know any of that, all I know is we are going to have the garage sale this weekend.
I reminded that I am not in control. Not at all. God called us on this journey and we are taking it step by step. God is the one in control, He knows every step, He has all of them planned out. Every single one. He hasn't missed a step. All Natalie and I have to do is to follow.
Step by step. Moment by moment.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Think Big.
Here we are...week of the garage sale. We open for "business" Friday morning and I am excited to see how God works the two days of the sale because the ways He has provided so far has been amazing. People have been so generous...donating items that they have, donating things that they make, offering to help with pricing, with signs, with sales, and with their time during the sales. When I stop and think about it, I am humbled into a sweet peace....
"but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often."
(Luke 2:19)
So here's the reason for the title of this post: Think Big. I feel like we are called to ask big things when we pray. However...I have a hard time with that. And as I sit here, realizing the extent of my hesitation, I have come up with the reasons that I struggle with asking "big things" of God. I struggle with it because I sometimes feel like if I am constantly asking "big things", I might annoy God. I struggle with it because I feel like I might use up all my requests. I struggle with it because I feel like God has bigger things to worry about than what seems "big" in my life. I struggle with it because I am fearful of Him not answering in the way I want. I struggle with it because I am afraid that He won't show up and I will look foolish. I struggle with it because I do not realize the extent of His love for me. (Before I go on, can I just say how not fun writing all that out was? Good grief...talk about humbling!!)
I struggle with asking big things for a number of reasons, as you can see...but, just because I am uncomfortable with it, doesn't mean that I am not called to do it. He answers prayer and He cares for me. He has not ignored or punished me for asking things of Him, nor has He failed to answer them. Now, the answers have not always been the "go ahead" that I might have been looking for, but His answers are always in love and for my good and for His glory. Just look at our adoption journey so far....He has been there with each and every step.
So, here I sit...still struggling with asking for big, specific things. But, as I struggle, I feel His grace. My "big, specific prayer request" is that after this weekend is over, we have enough money for the first quater of adoption fees. (Eeekk...seeing that on the screen makes me a little nervous and the urge to hit that "delete" button is very strong! Keep going, Natalie!)
I am praying that by Sunday, we have enough money in our "Baby Account" that we can send all the paper work we finished and the money due with that paper work in. I am praying that He provides in big ways...I am praying for guidance and His will...and I am thanking Him for His grace and mercy because I know I will struggle all weekend! (Thank goodness He is patient with me!) I am praying that through the sale this weekend that He is seen, that friendships are made, that we are faithful to give Him all the glory.
I believe. I know He will continue to knit this all together, just the way it's supossed to look. No matter what...I believe. To HIM be the glory...now and forever.
Monday, August 26, 2013
not alone.
One of the most amazing things I have experienced along this journey is the love and support of those around Natalie and I.
At moments when I have felt most alone, God has sent someone to remind us we are not alone. God has used His people to be His hands and feet to us.
It is great to have people tell us they have seen our blog and ask us more about our journey. When they ask we love to tell them, we love having others share in this journey. This is not our journey, it is God's journey he has entrusted to us and we want to share it with whoever we can. In the end we want people to see God through our adoption.
The other thing I love is when our child comes home he/she will have a community here that loves and cares for them. They will have people who have been praying for them for such a long time.
As I am writing this I am sensing I am writing this for me, as a reminder when I feel alone. Most of all I am writing to say thank you for encouraging us in our journey so far.
At moments when I have felt most alone, God has sent someone to remind us we are not alone. God has used His people to be His hands and feet to us.
It is great to have people tell us they have seen our blog and ask us more about our journey. When they ask we love to tell them, we love having others share in this journey. This is not our journey, it is God's journey he has entrusted to us and we want to share it with whoever we can. In the end we want people to see God through our adoption.
The other thing I love is when our child comes home he/she will have a community here that loves and cares for them. They will have people who have been praying for them for such a long time.
As I am writing this I am sensing I am writing this for me, as a reminder when I feel alone. Most of all I am writing to say thank you for encouraging us in our journey so far.
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