I just went back and re-read my last post...and sat here in amazement after...amazed at the Lord's sovereignty. (Not sure why His Goodness and Sovereignty still surprise me, slow learner, I guess). 

In October, Mike and I felt the Lord telling us to wait. He showed me a dream of a big, closed, iron door - the door to Russia. And we felt Him nudging me towards school. We decided that our only option was to continue to follow where we felt Him leading, even if it didn't make sense. Why call us to something like Russia and get us all excited about it, and then say "Actually, just wait". It was frustrating and sad and scary...BUT, I would rather live His way then try and do it my own way. So, we put our adoption process on hold and switched gears.

A Master's in Counseling might be in the future. But, first I needed to finish up one course for my minor at Cornerstone. The "nudge" we were feeling for me going back to school seems to be pointing directly towards that class right now. After that, who knows...we think "grad school", but the Lord might have another plan. I found the class I needed...located conveniently across the street from our house!

Mike was able to get Health Benefits from LPC and I was able to cut down my hours at work - making sure that I had adequate time to study and keep up on things at home. But, we found out in December that my dream wasn't only because I was to pursue school. In December, the country of Russia passed a law that banned US adoption. The door to  Russia literally closed. 

I cried a lot about it. Heartbroken for all those children, all those families - our own included, and really feeling like I lost my baby. Mike and I prayed for our sweet little Russian baby all the time and I had (still have) a hard time realizing that wasn't going to happen. I wish I could tell you that I wasn't angry about it, but that would be a lie. I was angry. 

But, once again, the Lord was patient with His child. He held my heart and told me to keep praying for our sweet baby. Even if I never get to hold her, I believe there is a baby there and I am claiming her salvation in faith and believe He will reveal Himself to her throughout her life and that one day, I will meet her. I know it sounds crazy...but I cannot withhold this from our story. Our God is bigger than anything I can see or fathom. 

So, we are praying for the Lord to continue to work His plan for our family. We pray that the Lord will soften hearts and the country of Russia will open again. We pray that He will continue to make our ears and hearts and eyes sensitive to His leading. As of right now, we have not felt a strong calling to another country, but if He calls - we most definitely will go. I kind of feel that Russia was such a huge leap of faith for us, that any other country now seems like a piece of cake, haha. All part of His plan, I'm sure. 

Life is not a race, it's a marathon. I don't want to miss anything that's happening now because I'm yearning for the future. Each of our days are FULL of blessings and miracles. <3