You know, looking back on it, I wish I had used the "Friends" method of blog post titling - using "The one with..." in every title. I can't wait for "The one with the family of three"!
It's been almost a month since my last post, but that doesn't mean things stopped happening. As we were waiting for our home study to be finalized, we got a call from our adoption agency. She said she wanted to talk to us about our adoption process and if we were interested in pursing other possibilities in adoption since things with the country of Ethiopia have been moving so slow. I quickly sent out a text to some of you, asking for peace and clarity...wanting to hear the voice of the Lord, not to get bogged down by our own voices or opinions.
Mike and I have both prayed about it and we've talked about it...and we just don't feel that the Lord is calling us away from pursing Ethiopia for our adoption. The Lord has grown SUCH a love in our hearts and we do not have peace about stepping away from the path that we've been on.
It wasn't an easy decision in some ways...impatience tends to creep up my spine and try to take control. Would domestic adoption make us a family faster? Would it be easier/cheaper/smoother? It was very tempting to just to not listen to what my heart was saying and just go with the change. Wasn't becoming a family the goal of this whole thing?
That last question was the one that really made me stop my runaway thought train...what IS our goal in this? Is it to be a family? Is that the only goal?
It's not. Not our only goal, at least. We want to do what we feel the Lord asking us to do. That's been our desire this whole time...and I don't want to stop that. So, we're still on the Ethiopia track. In fact, I got a call Tuesday that our home study has been finalized and I was able to pick it up today actually! (Side note: it's real weird to read an 18 page report on yourself, your husband, your marriage, your childhood, and your life!!)
When I picked up our finalized home study, I was able to sit down and talk to the head of the Ethiopia program about what's going on. I told her that we weren't feeling the Lord calling us from what we've been pursing. She totally understood and affirmed that we have to follow and be faithful. (SO THANKFUL for our agency!) She let me know that there are 82 people on the official waiting list, and about 10 couples who are in the dossier stage (like Mike and I). Right now, it looks like the wait time is about 2 years from submission of dossier to placement. Maybe more, maybe less. She further explained to me what was going on to cause a slow down in placements and gave me specific things to pray for (which I'll tell you all in a minute).
I fully expected my heart to be sad and disappointed when I heard the wait time...but I wasn't. For some reason (that reason being the nothing less than the peace and joy of the Lord), I wasn't sad. I sat there and waiting for the sad feeling, but I felt excited...I felt that THIS is where we're meant to be. That the Lord knew this all along, which of course He did. I can't explain this much further because I'm pretty sure I'll just keep repeating myself, but my heart is at peace. I'm so thankful for that.
So the prayer requests...for Ethiopia, please pray that the country solidify their stance on the speed of adoptions. She told me today that she really doesn't feel like the country will close, but they have slowed down immensely on the number of referrals and placements. Please pray that the referrals and placements will start to speed back up...that all 92 of us waiting to meet our children will be able to meet them sooner than they think!
Please pray for Mike and I as we start the final process...that things will go smoothly. Pray that we stay strong together...that we continue to trust Him and that He continues to provide, as He always has.
You guys...this is the most wild adventure. It's been scary and happy and calm and uncertain and bigger than anything I've ever experienced. It's shown me miracles and it's shown me how many people we have around us who love us, and who love our child. It's shown me already that parenting means realizing you don't have as much control as you think you should have. It's shown me that we can't get through the day without giving our worries and our fears over to Him. It's been life changing already...I can only imagine how different it will be when we bring them home!
I will keep you updated, as always...you, my friends, are a bigger part of my life than you may realize.
