Peace on earth....and in our home-study.

We had our first home-study this past Thursday! I want to tell you all about it! (PS: as I write this, I keep getting distracted by the different Christmas-y things of our house...lights twinkling causing the different glittery decorations to catch my eye, candles giving off amazing cinnamon/sugar/pine sent, and the view outside the windows is one of snow covered tree branches. It's like a Christmas card. This post could take me awhile to write at this pace!)

So now that I have acknowledged the beauty of Christmas around me, and as I try to focus on the computer screen, on to the topic that you came to read about!

Before the first home study, our adoption agency asked us to fill out a questionnaire so that they knew a little bit about us before we sat down with her. (Side note, not about Christmas, only one of our three home studies will be done in our home...the rest are done at the adoption agency. These are more so that they can get to know Mike and I.) That being said, the questionnaire didn't ask questions about our home, it asked questions about us. They asked about our childhoods, our dating relationships, our marriage, our goals and dreams, how we resolve issues, what we do in our free time...pretty much everything and anything was asked. 

I kinda freaked out after I looked at the questionnaire the first time. ("Kinda" means "totally did").  It scared me to think about being so honest with my whole life and I was pretty sure they were going to find a reason to tell us "no". But, through beautiful friends, my amazing husband, and a quote from one of my favorite books, I was reminded that we are called to be faithful and that this whole journey is to show how great our God is. 

After sending in our questionnaires, we had a few days until we met with our case worker to talk about them. I had expected to be nervous, but I wasn't. I expected to be consumed with the same lies that freaked me out earlier, but I wasn't. I expected to not sleep, but I did. The day of the home study, I expected to be nervously cleaning and to be edgy...I wasn't. I was completely peaceful. I like to prepare and to know what's going to happen (as you all well know), but I was totally at peace that we're right where we should be and that He is glorified through the telling of our stories. He was asking me to rest in Him, and I'm so glad I did. 

The home study went great. Our caseworker seems kind and I know she has been hand picked by the Lord to play this part in our journey. We talked, told our stories, and were able to talk out loud about being a family of three. Neither of us felt nervous, and I am so confident that that calm spirit was nothing but God. 

Peace on earth...and in my heart...and in this process. The Christmas season is filled with joy, hope, peace, love, warmth...and these are all things that I feel and know in my innermost being. The next home study is for the end of January and thinking about it doesn't freak me out...I'm excited to continue the process and take another step towards our child. One more step closer to being able to meet them, and touch their face, and hold their hand, and give them our last name. That thought is the best Christmas gift ever. <3