I know I've been slacking a bit (okay, a lot) on keeping this blog update. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to write because things are constantly changing and the Lord is re-arranging the plans that I thought I could help Him make. ;-) 

In February, I felt the Lord preparing my heart for a change of jobs. It was scary, exciting, and overwhelming. I thought I was going to be heading to graduate school for a Masters in Counseling, but it was not possible to ignore this leading towards another job. I'm the kind of person that doesn't like to wait once I know something is going to happen. "Okay, God is calling me to another job - let's start tomorrow." Well, through LOTS of prayer, impatience, and tears, He led me to a job as a Home Aide for an Elderly care community. It's a non-profit and I love it. I know this is where He was calling. 

When we put our adoption process on hold, my job was one of the reasons why. It was stressful, time consuming and I did not want to bring a child into our family when I was in a job that seemed to consume me like that. The Lord led me to another job that is life-giving. We felt that God was calling me back to school - I finished my last class 3 weeks ago. We wanted to make sure that we had the proper health benefits if I were to leave my job - Mike was able to get benefits through the job he started last August. We felt Him saying "wait" and as we were waiting, the country of Russia closed for adoptions. We were confused, and angry, and sad, and scared - but we waited.

The past few months, I have felt a little "nudge" in my soul. I started praying about that "nudge". Russia obviously isn't an option for an adoption right now...so what direction was my "nudge" pushing me? I've been praying and asking Mike to pray, and we think we might be being "nudged" towards Ethiopia. So, we are prayerfully moving forward. 

I'd be lying to you if I were to write this without admitting that I'm a little (sometimes a lot) hesitant about it. We were SO sure about Russia....what's to say that Ethiopia won't be stopped too? What if I'm making this all up, but the Lord's plan is for Mike and I to never become parents? What if something happens? What if ______? What happens when ______? What about _____? I struggle with doubt and with skepticism and with fear. 

However, in the middle of my moments of doubt and fear, I am always reminded (note: "reminded" don't mean forced to listen, because sometimes I choose to wallow in fear and doubt) that in the beginning of our adoption journey, our goal was that the Lord's name be glorified and that everything points to Him. So, with that in mind...we are going where we feel the Lord is calling. Which, appears to be Ethiopia. While the country has changed, our goal in this has not. May His name be glorified....may all who read/hear/watch our story see Him and know why we are on wild journey. 

So, here we go. He is always faithful. Always.