As I've told you, the international adoption process is not one that will normally gives you whiplash from the speed of things. (Yes, I know there are some random cases that move super fast and its all a blur, but for the most part - it's a game of waiting). Adoption out of Ethiopia has been pretty slow for everyone...all adoption agencies everywhere are experiencing the same things. But, since the beginning of the year, almost 10 families in our agency have been able to bring their little ones home! How wonderful is that?? These families have been waiting for so long and some had already met their children and were waiting for court approval to be able to bring them home! It makes my heart so happy, and so hopeful, to hear updates like that. One day, Lord willing, that will be us! We are encouraged that these families are celebrating like that. Our prayer is that updates like this keep happening so we can bring our little one home sooner. :-) But, as I've said before - there are no promises in adoption. Our only promise is that God's name will be glorified and our hope is that our lives continue to reflect where we find our hope and our strength. So, we will continue our path and praise Him for His provision and for this journey.
I've felt like I have never fully caught up from our accident in January. I was down for 4 days after our crash and part of me feels like I've been 4 days behind ever since. I know Mike has felt the same way. We're tired and I feel like I should always be looking around me, trying to figure out what I've forgotten to do. It's been overwhelming and it's kinda been a buzz kill for me. I have been wanting to write to you all, but I've felt a little embarrassed that I haven't had anything huge and exciting to with share with you. I've felt like it would be disappointing for you to open and update and read "nothing knew to report on the adoption front, but here's how I'm a mess...". So I've opened up this journal a few times and typed a little, only to delete it and turn off the computer. I just felt like nothing I had to say was of any substance, so I just didn't say it.
This past week, Mike's paternal grandmother passed away. As we stood at the visitation at the funeral home on Friday night, catching up with family we haven't seen in awhile, the Lord knocked on my heart and asked me to listen. I had a few family members tell me that they are following along with us. I mentioned to one that I just didn't feel like I had anything to say, so I hadn't been writing. She told me "just use it as a diary!". And the Lord seemed to slow my mind down to make sure that that moment stuck out to me.
Earlier in the day, I had put this quote on Facebook from Shauna Niequist (my future best friend. If you haven't read any of Shauna's books, you should):
There are two myths that we tend to believe about our stories: the first
is that is they're about us, and the second is that because they're
about us, they don't matter. There's nothing small or inconsequential
about our stories. There is, in fact, nothing bigger. When we, any of us
who have been transformed by Christ, tell our stories, we're telling
the story of who God is. And when we tell the truth about our lives -
the broken parts, the secret parts, the beautiful parts - then the
gospel comes to life, an actual story about redemption, instead of
abstraction and theory and things you learn in Sunday School.
Are you shaking your head at me? It's okay, you totally can - because I did.
Here's the truth that I got from the Lord: my story right now matters. As I stood in the funeral home, I realized that people were not remembering only one part of Mike's grandmas life. They all remembered something different, every part of her life mattered. My story doesn't only involve adoption. He is working in so many other parts of my life, and while it's all intertwining with my future role as a mommy, it all matters right now.
It matters RIGHT NOW if I am loving to people who I don't feel like loving. It matters RIGHT NOW if I am compassionate. It matters RIGHT NOW if I choose to give my feeling of "being 4 days behind life" to God and let Him take over. RIGHT NOW. God didn't start my story when we started to adopt. He doesn't put my story on hold when the adoption process isn't moving. He doesn't forget about me. He is always there, always moving, always asking me to take His hand and follow Him. He is always asking me to love, to help, to pray, to show compassion, to forgive, and to be forgiven.
So I'm asking the Lord to remind me of this, when I feel like I have nothing to share. He's never not doing something. And the story of Him working in my life is worth sharing. It's what I'm called to do. He is orchestrating the most beautiful piece of music, and we get to be a part of it. You and I. Because what He's doing in YOUR life is also worth sharing. Your story matters. It matters right now, it's worth sharing right now.
You, my friend, matter to me! Thank you for asking about our journey, for following along, for supporting us in every way possible.
"Let's sizzle and pop in His name. Let's dance and shimmer and scrawl out our stories across the sky, like He taught us to. Let's echo the His words, and let our live speak those words: IT IS GOOD."
(Shauna Niequist)
