Wishin' and Waitin'

Author's Note: My first entry on this blog was April 28, 2012. That's almost 4 years. And that wasn't even the start of this journey...that was just the first time I wrote about it. That's a long time. Even though our journey has not taken the path that I thought it would, I'm so glad that I continued to write about it. As I re-read about the twists and the turns, I can feel all those emotions again. One day, maybe our children will want to read this...a love story about all of us and God. He's the only thing that has stayed the same and that is amazing. He's so faithful.

So, our case worker has submitted our home study to Lansing and now we're just waiting. Once the license is issued, we start the process of waiting for a placement. A PLACEMENT. Can you even believe it? I can't. I'm praying that this year is my last Mother's Day with empty arms. I'm praying so many things and dreaming so many things...

Different people tell us different things about how long the wait should be (and everyone knows someone who had a different experience), but we have been told by our agency that we should expect 1-2 months. The pessimistic side of me is fighting to be heard and main streamed..."don't get your hopes up - something going as planned as not played a role in this story". BUT, I'm doing my best to shut that dark and grumpy side of me up. Because that is not where hope lies...and I want to be on the side of hope. So, if you see us or if we talk, please remember that...like I said earlier, everyone knows someone who has done this and, as people try to relate to us, we hear a lot (A LOT) of horror stories about foster care and waiting and adoption. I know we all know someone who has had a bad experience with one thing or another...but please don't share that with us. Tell us positive stories. Tell us you're praying for us. Pray with us (doesn't matter where we are, I'm always down for praying). Give us (okay maybe just me) a hug. Tell us you can't wait to meet our children. We are celebrating where we are and we're so excited and we're so thankful. And we are enjoying right now. But, we know the hard part isn't done...it actually hasn't even started. Help us stay on the side of hope. On the side of hope is where I want to stay...it's where life is. It's where I want to dwell. It's what I want to show my children.

In Exodus 17, as long as Moses held up his hand and his staff, the Israelites kept the advantage against the Amalekites. And the Bible says this:

"Moses’ arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. So his hands held steady until sunset." (Exodus 17:12) 

The Israelites were victorious. I'm asking you all to continue to be our Aaron and our Hur. To continue to help us hold up our arms when we get tired. To help us remain steady. I will probably never be able to tell you how much joy it brings me when someone tells me how excited for us and how they are praying. To know you're praying for our children wherever they are right now. To know that you're praying for Mike and I. I love hearing people dream out loud with us about our children. We've been so blessed with our village. 

In my dreams, I dream about dedication Sunday for our little ones. I dream about each and every one of you being there, seeing our dreams and the years of waiting right there on the stage, being dedicated to the Lord. I dream about the "welcome home" party we'll have after church. A celebration of God's faithfulness to us and a thank you celebration to all of you, from us. Our new little family. <3