Mike and I are currently back in our favorite coffee house, and I am drinking the cutest mocha ever...it's a Valentine's themed one, raspberry, blackberry, and chocolate, and it has pink whipped cream and red sprinkles. Seriously? So cute.
It's been almost a month since I last wrote in here and boy, do I have an update for you! We got the news last week, that Ethiopia announced that they were NOT planning on limiting or stopping adoptions from their country. You guys, the joy that filled my soul when I read that email was out of this world. I immediately started crying and texting! My hands were shaking so much that I had a really hard time texting the right words (and auto-correct wasn't helpful at all). The Lord answered our prayers and the doors to Ethiopia were not closing. Even now, as I sit here with my cute coffee, I get teary eyed over how wonderful it is. We have a training class next week, and got a few major items crossed off our "to do" list this week. It is an extremely satisfying feeling. With each task we do, I feel the love for our sweet child grow. How is it possible to love a little soul so much?? I have no idea what they will look like, I have no idea how old they will be, I have no idea when I will get to hold them in my arms...but, let me tell you what...I would do ANYTHING for this child. I get so excited thinking about them and dreaming about being a family of three - Daddy, Mommy, and our little one.
Experiencing such joy has been so wonderful...but it has also brought me to the realization that not everyone knows how to share joy. For the most part (the majority!), people have rejoiced with us. However, we have come across people who seem to find it important to remind us that everything can change in an instant - that our joy could be false and short lived. For example this conversation: "We just found out that Ethiopia isn't planning on limiting or closing adoptions!" and getting this response "Well that's good for now, but don't get too excited because nothing is certain and it could always change.". Or telling someone we are adopting and then immediately having to listen to a nightmare adoption story that they have heard. I know I'm not alone in this experience, because if you to just listen in on a conversation, you would probably hear something along the same lines. Well-meaning people who might be just trying to relate to whatever topic is at hand, but who end up taking a little piece of the other person's joy and happiness. And to be honest, I know that I am guilty of doing this exact thing - not wanting the other person to be hurt or disappointed if something doesn't work out, or even out of jealously at whatever news they are sharing. I'm so sorry about that...truly, from the depths of my soul, I'm so sorry. Because, sharing joy with someone is something so beautiful. I could not wait to tell you guys about our news...I enjoy sharing this part of our life with you and having you all walk alongside of us. And getting to share the joy of friends is also beautiful and wonderful. And hearing a "debbie downer" response is a little crushing.
I have been really reminded to experience THIS joy. Yes, everything could change as soon as I hit the "publish" button and the next entry you read could be written with tears and a broken heart, it's happened before...but, right now, in this entry, I'm happy. I'm excited. I'm going to choose to live out THIS blessing, and celebrate THIS victory. He has blessed us with this answer to prayer and that is worth celebrating!!
Mike and I live with the knowledge that He is in control. We desire that our lives show Him, and I do not believe that I would be showing you how beautiful and wonderful life with Him is, if I never celebrate and I never share my joy with you. Pessimism is often given the name of "realism", and in that, we lose any light or miss the miraculouness in the experiences that we have. This is not to say that we shouldn't share in each others grief and sadness, but I feel like we are more comfortable sharing in the hard times with people than we are in celebrating.
I have really had my eyes opened to so many different things since we started our adoption journey, and I'm so thankful, even though the self-realization sometimes is more humbling than I care for. This past week, I have been reminded to celebrate with other people, to be joyful, to not think about the "what ifs" immediately after hearing good news, and to be thankful when prayers are answered. He is good...in all situations, He is good. Let's celebrate. :-)
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