"Maybe you'll get lucky..."

Baby shopping. I've started and I can't seem to stop...nor do I really have the desire to stop. I love it. I love to walk through the baby aisles. I like to plan (as you all know, haha!) and dream and make decisions as to what we want to have for our baby. It's almost too exciting for me sometimes, actually! :-) My sister gave us a mobile for the nursery and my parents saved my baby crib and highchair for when we visit. Baby things are exciting!

People are talkative in the baby sections of stores...making suggestions and telling stories of their experiences of certain products. They tell me who/what they are shopping for and ask about me. I always say "my husband and I are adopting". Most of the time, we get "Oh, good for you!" or "How exciting!" or something along those lines.

However, that's not always the response. We are finding that once some people hear of our adoption, instantly our fertility becomes acceptable to ask about. We have heard this "Oh, you're a you adopting - can't you have your own children?", "Did you try in vitro?", "I could never adopt, there are too many screwed up/sick kids out there", "Maybe you'll get lucky and get pregnant, then you wouldn't have to adopt".

Growing up, my dad always told me to "shred my tongue" when I feel the need to tell the person in front of me what I am truly thinking about something I disagree with. Stop and pray for grace to be in my heart and words. I find myself putting that advice into play when I hear comments like that. Once upon a time, I thought international adoption was for other people. I don't understand what other people are passionate about, all the time. The Lord gives different passions and callings to everyone...it's beautiful, if you stop and think about it. If everyone had same passion - nothing else would ever get done. Adoption is not for everyone. Everyone is not going to understand and not everyone feels like I do. That's okay, it really is. My goal in life has never been to do what everyone else is doing or to make sure everyone understands my actions. My goal in life is to follow what I feel the Lord calling me to do. He is the One who makes my heart beat and the One who puts air into my lungs, He is the One who created me with the passions that I have and the One I want to serve. He is. 

Adoption is not our second choice. Have we given birth to a child, no. But, is this a reaction to that? No. We want to adopt. I've known this is what I was called to do since since I was a child. We know this is the path that the Lord has asked us to travel and we are JOYFULLY traveling down that path. We have no regrets. If we conceive and give birth to a child one day, that's great. But, I am not hoping for that. It's not something I have a strong desire for. It's not something I will be sad about if it never happens. Our baby is not less ours because he or she doesn't share our DNA. This is not is second choice. "Maybe you'll get lucky...". We already are.